My Own Worst Enemy
"Carol, you stupid idiot, get it together!"
"Hey!" she warned, "Don't talk to my mom that way!"
Ouch! I was caught. Despite making strides in my journey of self-acceptance, I came up short in a stressful situation. I disappointed my daughter, my Savior, myself. Before I set my head on the pillow that night, I made it right with God.
"Forgive me, Lord," I said. And that's when I realized the fight wasn't with myself. The Enemy had a victory that day. I am not the one putting those negative words in my head. When I let my guard down, Satan slithered in my mind with words of defeat and misery. I needed to:
Stop demonizing myself.
Stop disrespecting myself.
Stop diminishing myself.
Holley Gerth, author and co-founder of (In)Courage, calls those negative voices "devil static." The words you say to yourself are killers. They murder your walk with God and your joy. So don't let it happen. Stay tucked close to God's side. Keep learning His Word, praying to Him and being accountable with other believers. When you do, it'll duct tape Satan's sassy mouth.
Medical update: The last of the tumor is gone with the right breast mastectomy, according to my pathology report. I will return to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in two weeks, and after a checkup, I will begin chemotherapy. Thanks to all for your emails, Facebook messages, cards, food and gifts. You are the hands and feet of Christ. God bless you!
Female in Motion Exercise Update: I did four 15-minute treadmill sessions last week and increased my physical therapy routine, seven days a week, two pages of movements. I'm at about 80-85 percent mobility.
1 Peter 5:8 (KJV) Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: