Showing posts from June, 2013

Parenting Grownups

"Stand back and watch me!" I declared to my mom. We were in the backyard of our home, and I was trying to perfect a daring swing set gymnastic maneuver. At nine years old, I thought Evel Knievel could learn things from me. It took a few tries, but I got the trick right, as Mom cheered.

When my daughters left home, I was happy for them. It was time to test the independence they had been practicing for the last 19 years. They are living their own lives.

I knew I would always be their mom, but the active phase of parenting was over. My new role is as trusted advisor. I'm not very good at parenting my adult daughters yet, but I'm learning.  I don't give advice unless they ask for it. Fixing every situation for them is not what they need. I watch how they handle it and cheer them on.

If my kids need to talk to me, I'm here. Sometimes, they do. When they don't, I don't take it personally. One lesson I have learned the hard way is, no matter how much I wor…

Lunch With My Father

It was early in 2002, and my parents and I attended the funeral of a member of my childhood church. The congregation hosted a family dinner after the service, and my mom volunteered to help serve. I figured I would simply head back home, but Dad asked me to stay and he would take me out to lunch.

He held the chair for me.

As we entered the restaurant, Dad held the chair out for me. That was unprecedented. He had always held out the chair for my mom, but never me. Since getting married and moving out of my parents' home in 1981, my father and I hadn't spent much time alone. Sure, our family visited often and we shared many meals and holidays together. A one-on-one lunch with Dad was unique.

He told me he was proud of me.

 As we ate, Dad told me how happy he was that The Hubster and I had started our own business. "I'm really proud of you," he said, "I know what a big challenge that is." I told him about the clients we were working with, and how determine…

Relay For Life 2013

Arkansas City celebrated its 12th annual Relay For Life in Wilson Park yesterday. The American Cancer Society's event is special to me. I led a team in 2012, and this year The Hubster and I walked the Survivor Lap.

A whole lot of stuff has happened to me in the past year. I've done a lot of growing up, and God has shown me some amazing truths about myself, my life, my friends and Him.

I'm grateful for each moment.

Empty Nest

Way back when I was a kid, my dad taught me how to ride a two-wheeler by holding on to the back of my bike, holding me steady as I pedaled down Farmington Drive.  After just a few falls and scrapes, I was on my own. Dad let go, and I sailed away.

What if Dad kept holding on and didn't let go? 

Would I have ever learned to ride a bike by myself?

It's inevitable, when you have kids. Eventually, they grow up and move out and you and your better half are left there...with an empty nest.

When you're there, in the trenches, diapering and carpooling and washing mountains of laundry, you imagine what it will be like. Mothers dream of sleeping late, bubble baths and endless date nights. Unlimited access to the family car, bathroom and TV are on dads' wish lists. The reality is a little different.

An empty nest is an adjustment. Initially, there is a bit of grief, or loss of purpose. I spent a month deep-cleaning the house to busy myself. The Hubster finally admitted just last …

Photo Friday

I just wanted to show you all the new hair I've gotten in the last month. It's coming back in very gray and curly. Maybe I will keep it a little shorter, once it grows out completely.

My CTCA health care team contacted me this week. I won't need to return to the hospital until September.

Now my journey of healing really begins. I'm putting cancer behind me, and no looking in the rear view mirror!

Parenting With Open Hands

Yesterday, The Hubster and I had the opportunity to care for a newborn infant during worship service at our church. Her family joined our congregation just a few years ago, so they didn't know our daughters. Baby Katie's mommy was a little hesitant to hand over her little one until I explained that we raised two baby girls and they were healthy grownups now.

It's true, The Hubster and I raised two moral, hard-working, independent women. They are both good people, and we are very proud of them. I was very young, just 21 years old, when I first became a mom. We had a lot of victories and some valleys, too. Being a mom is an incredibly hard job, if you do it right. I made a lot of mistakes in parenting. 
Here are three big things I did wrong:
I did way too much yelling.
I modeled poor self-esteem to them.
I held on too tight as they started to mature.
Here are three things I did right:

I apologized when I made a mistake.
I encouraged them.
I asked for help when I needed it.
The …