Showing posts from December, 2012

What Defines Me?

I was just discovering my true self when I met The Hubster. It wasn't his fault, but I threw myself into being a great wife, cook and housekeeper. When my daughters came along, I simply wanted make their lives as happy as possible. Somewhere along the way, I forgot to find out exactly who I was, and I have only recently gotten back on track.

The years between have been a lot of fun, and I've learned a lot of important stuff, like what I am not.

I am an office manager, but that does not define my talents.
I am married to The Hubster, but that does not define my identity.
I am the mother of two children, but that does not define my life.
I am a member of a Baptist church, but that does not define my faith.
I am a breast cancer patient, but that does not define my personality.

What defines me? Am I someone's employee, someone's wife, someone's mother, some church's member, someone's patient? Yes, I am those things, but those things do not define who I am. Don…

Christmas Eve 2012

I got a call this morning from my doctor's office at Cancer Treatment Centers of America,  in Zion, IL. My white blood cell count is a little elevated, so my Nurse Navigator recommended that I wear a surgical mask if I have to be out and about. You know me...I just can't leave well enough alone, so I had my daughter/artist design some really cool ones. What do you think?

Since my fourth dose of chemotherapy was last week, that means I only have two more treatments: January 7 and 28. I'm so happy and relieved to have this chapter of my life come to an end. Next up will be a month's rest and then radiation, which will be administered in Winfield, KS, close to my home.

Thanks and blessings go out to everyone who has stopped by, called, written or messaged to wish my family and I a merry Christmas. We are grateful to God for His abundant blessings and for all of you who make our lives so very sweet. I don't have to ask Santa for anything this year; my stocking is alre…

My Favorite Christmas Carol

("Breath of Heaven/Mary's Song" by Amy Grant)

I've sung a lot of Christmas Carols. I know all the words to all of them, too. Singing in school auditoriums, concert halls and cathedrals, I love them all. Especially the Christian ones.

My favorite Christmas Carol is one I bet you've never heard before. "Breath of Heaven/Mary's Song" was originally written by Chris Eaton, and released in the Christmas album, "Home for Christmas," by Amy Grant in 1992. The words to the song are told from Mary's perspective. It is a quiet, haunting tune. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Breath of Heaven

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Hump Day!

Today, I received my fourth chemotherapy treatment. There are six infusions scheduled, so that means I am over the hump. Hooray!

Because the poison levels are rising with every successive treatment, I am feeling tired, with a little muscle weakness. No metal mouth yet, though. I hope the steroids kick in soon.

I am posting some photos of this trip, so you can see what I've been up to. And also because I'm really too pooped to write any deep thoughts tonight.

That being said, I am blessed. God is faithful. I can feel every prayer coming my way. And I am grateful for the blessings of you in my life.

Ephesians 3:20 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to doexceedingabundantlyaboveallthat we askorthink, according to the power that workethinus.

Female in Motion Exercise Update: I did three 30-minute treadmill workouts last week. I wish I had done four or five, because I gained two pounds in the last three weeks. I think I'm the only person in the world to gain weight on chemo. U…

In Memory, 12/14/2012

John 11:35 (KJV)                                                                       Jesus wept.


Maker of our hearts, we come to you today, grieving. We cannot fathom the hate and evil that lurks in some humans' souls. While we pray for the families involved in today's tragedy at the elementary school in Connecticut, we plead for peace and comfort for hearts all across America. Thank You for being our soft place to fall. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Holiday Redefined

How silently, how silently  the wondrous Gift is given!  So God imparts to human hearts  the blessings of His heaven.  No ear may hear His coming; but in this world of sin,  where meek souls will receive Him still,  the dear Christ enters in. --O, Little Town of Bethlehem, traditional Christmas carol

This Christmas will be unlike any I have experienced before. This year, I am in the middle of a battle for my life. No, I'm not dreadfully ill, but I do have another priority that takes up a lot of my spare time.
Christmases Past looked frenetic and stressful. I tried to pack in all the shopping, concerts, baking, parties, programs and people I could. By the time the holiday was over, I ended up feeling grumpy and ungrateful.
I will redefine this Christmas. It will look peaceful, reverent, special. I will make room in my heart and home for Jesus. While I may not have any decorations up, I can spruce up my soul. Setting aside holiday guilt, my mind will focus on the Wondrous Gift of Christ t…

Friday Feline Face

Here's my latest acquisition from A Pink Stitch! It's made to look just like my sweet tomcat, Nod. He is a big gray boy with green eyes and pink ears. This hat makes me smile.

God is really blessing my treatment. I feel good this week and have very few symptoms from the chemo. Even the metal mouth is on its way out.

The weather is starting to feel like winter around here. I'm glad I have cute hats to keep my little bald head warm.

My next trip to CTCA will be on Sunday, December 16. Daughter #1 will be coming with me. Infusion #4 will happen at noon on Monday the 17th. Hooray, I'm heading over the hump! Lord willing, I will feel pretty good by Christmas.


Holy One, thank you for outrageously blessing my life. I ask that You give each person that takes time out of their day to pray for me a special gift from Heaven. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.


Go to the bathroom.
Wash my hands.
Fix breakfast.
Wash my hands.
Feed the cats.
Wash my hands.
Shake hands at church.
Wash my hands.

It's all I do. Every day. It seems like I just can't get my hands, or my house, clean enough. Clorox and Lysol are my weapons of war. I keep Purel and disinfectant wipes in my purse and backpack and every room in the house. 

Since beginning chemotherapy in October, I've been advised to stay healthy and keep away from folks who are sick. I've always been a bit of a germaphobe. Never would I dream of using the pen the clerk hands you at the store or restaurant to sign a receipt.

While I'm doing everything I can to keep from catching a nasty bug, I know that I can never be clean enough to enter Heaven on my own merits.

1 John 1:7 (KJV) But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. 

The blood Jesus shed on the cross was the payme…