The Lover of My Soul



 A week from today, I will return to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Zion, IL, and if all goes well, I will begin my chemotherapy treatment. Within a few days after that, I will lose all my hair. It won't all fall out at once, but when it starts to get sparse, I'm going to shave it off. And I'm okay with that.

My body image has not always been so great. When I was a teenager, I had a lot of self-loathing. I thought my legs were so fat, at 105 pounds, that I refused to wear shorts during the summer. Even in my 20's, after my first brush with cancer, I covered the large scar on my right arm on the hottest July days in Kansas.

I am 50 years old now, and overweight, scarred, stretch marked, gray haired and wrinkled. Losing weight, gaining weight, short haired or long haired, I am still me. With the last surgery I endured, I lost my right breast to cancer, but I know I have the love of my husband, my family and my Savior. No matter how many body parts I lose, I possess a complete soul.

Here's something to hold on to: you are not the sum of your parts. You are more; a precious child of God, that He loves and treasures above all others. Jesus is the lover of my soul, and yours, too.  Laughingly, I always said The Hubster loved my guts. What I really meant was, he loves my soul, not the package it came in.

Appearances are temporary and shallow. We may not always look the same, but God will always have enduring love for us, that will not fail.

***

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I never want anyone else I care about to be scared, unsure, or ignorant of symptoms, the latest treatments, or self-care. Please take time to educate yourself. You deserve it! Here's a link with great information:  http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancer/index?ssSourceSiteId=null

***

Female in Motion Exercise Update:  I did five 30-minute treadmill workouts last week, and instead of upping my time, I increased my rate of speed. This should help with endurance, as well as fat burning. My pain is nearly non-existent, and mobility is increasing every day. I am grateful.

***

Notable Quote:

 Psalm 66:16 (KJV) Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul.








Comments

Ginny Marie said…
When I was going through chemo, I thought losing my hair was horrible! But it all grew back again, just like they said it would. I was very fortunate to have a wonderful role model in my mom, who helped me have a positive body image.
October 3, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Female in Motion said…
Surprisingly, I'm not too freaked out yet about losing my hair. Ask me next week! Thanks for commenting, Ginny Marie.
October 3, 2012 at 11:02 PM
Unknown said…
I think as we age we realize that's just not the most important thing. I will say, that it is so brave of you to go through what you've had to do.
October 9, 2012 at 9:13 AM
Female in Motion said…
Thanks, Donna! I don't think I'm particularly strong. There are lots of people going through much more than I am, but I want to honor God through this and show others how faithful He is, so I just put one foot in front of the other. That way it doesn't get too overwhelming.
October 10, 2012 at 8:55 AM
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