Project Carol--Part II

One of my first entries in this blog, dated August 27, 2007, was titled Project Carol. In it, I whined about all the things that were wrong with my life, and myself, and how I intended to try and improve things. For the sake of posterity, (yeah, right, like this will ever be read for more than a year or two!) I will give you an update on my progress on Project Carol.

First, I received an associate's degree in English in May 2005 from Cowley College. Cowley is close to my house, so there was no excuse. I haven't finished my bachelor's degree yet, but that's a financial thing. I hope to go back to college in the next five years, and get a degree in writing or literature. I may or may not ever use the degree, but I want it for myself, because of my love of books.

I went into therapy in the fall of 2001, and took anti-depressants for a short time. The therapy helped me talk through a lot of personal junk from my life that needed to come out. Depression runs through my family. It is hereditary. It's not something I dwell on, because (a.) I don't like to be a whiner, and (b.) it makes me look weak. I'm a perfectionist, but only when it comes to myself. Everyone else is great!

Exercise was something I had never done in my adult life, so I joined a gym and started working out. I was 90 pounds overweight, had no energy and lots of headaches. So far, I have lost 25 pounds, work out regularly and have fewer headaches. I still have a long way to go, but I didn't get fat overnight! Besides, if I looked too great, you people wouldn't be able to stand me!

The last project I am working on is writing. When I was a very little girl, I made up wild stories to amuse my big sisters. I fell in love with books by age 6, and kept a journal my whole life. I consider this blog an extension of my journal.

I always thought of myself as a writer. It was never something I thought I could do professionally. I wrote and told stories to my daughters when they were young, but somewhere along the line I became so involved in raising them that I let the writing go. In the last year, I have tried to resume writing. It's going very slowly and I'm scared. And I love it.

Yep, I'm pretty happy being me. I'm far from perfect, but that's okay. God loves me just the way I am. Project Carol is an unfinished project.
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