Breast Cancer: Why Do I Feel Guilty For Getting Better?

I had a "lite" version of breast cancer.
It seems like there are a million products on the market now that are "light," "lite," or "reduced" in some fashion. Weird, but I think about my cancer in that way. I had a very mild case of breast cancer, or Cancer Lite.

I almost feel like I shouldn't claim to be a cancer survivor. So many others have really, truly struggled with side effects of treatment, horrible pain from surgeries and catastrophic changes to their daily lives. While I did have three surgeries, six doses of chemotherapy and 30 radiation treatments, my body tolerated all of it fairly well, and I seem to be bouncing back rapidly.

Call it "survivor's guilt," but I went through a couple of months after treatment where I felt a bit ashamed. I gained weight, had tons of personal support and a great experience with my cancer team. During this time, a young man I knew died from liver cancer. He was a vibrant, strong Christian with a young family.

Pink ribbons are everywhere! October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I wear my pink ribbon proudly, but I don't see everyone getting behind skin cancer or multiple myeloma. There are myriad resources for women with breast cancer in every town and village of this country. Perhaps it is the mystique of female reproductive organs, but believe me, there is nothing sexy about having a mastectomy. Shouldn't we take all cancers seriously?

I have decided against minimizing the work of healing that God has done and continues to do in my life. He has brought me through a season of illness and testing, to refine me in the fire. I found humility, patience, obedience and brokenness are some of the things He wanted me to learn.

Zechariah 13:9 (KJV) And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

The Lord is my God. Amen.

***

Female in Motion Exercise Update: I am keeping up with my PT exercises three times a day, and this morning I did 10 minutes of low-impact aerobics. Felt so good to move my body. Thanks for the prayers!

***

Notable Quote:

" I think after overcoming breast cancer, you sort of become fearless and somehow going up to your boss to talk about a possible promotion doesn't seem like such a daunting task any more."--Hoda Kotb

Comments

Ginny Marie said…
I especially felt survivor guilt after my mom died from breast cancer. Sometimes it seems like we didn't suffer enough, doesn't it? I only had 4 chemo treatments after my surgery and went on tamoxifen for 5 years. And yet as I write "only" I think back...those were difficult years! And of course, my mom wouldn't want me to feel guilty; she would just want me to continue being a good mother to my little girls. God is good, and I thank him every day for all the blessings He has given me...including knowing you! Thank you for writing this. Those guilty feeling are felt by many cancer survivors, including me!
October 24, 2013 at 6:40 AM
Female in Motion said…
Thanks for your comment, Ginny Marie! We Pink Ladies have to stick together. Your mom would be exceptionally proud of all your accomplishments, not the least of which is that wonderful family of yours!
October 24, 2013 at 7:47 AM
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